Isn't It a Shame?

Election day! Get out there and vote folks. Make your voice heard.

I've had some requests for my take on my starring appearance in the Blue Man Group. I'll tell you one thing, being a Blue Man Groupie isn't an easy thing.

As some of you have surely read from Simon's Blog, the whole fiasco started when a stage hand came up and sat down next to simon and i and introduced herself. She asked our names, looked at simon's strange vestige and knew immediately that I was the one they wanted.

She took me out into the hall and gave me a brief explanation of what was going to happen. She took my shoes and gave me a pair of black doc martins.

As the show progressed I got more and more excited waiting for my big moment. There were a few other "crowd participants", including a really cool gramma who played her part perfectly. The pressure was on...could I live up to the hype? Could I make simon proud?

With the show almost at an end, I was expecting my appearance to begin any minute. Nonethless, I was somewhat surprised when suddenly the spotlight was pointing at me, my face was up on the tv screen above the stage, and a Blue Man was tapping me on the shoulder.

He grabbed me by the hand, and before I knew it, I was being pulled hastily down the stairs, up the aisle, and onto stage in front of the bright lights. Simon's hoots from the balcony were barely audible over the din of the crowd.

I was helped into a white space suit, and a black motorcycle helmet was placed over my head. I was taken by the hands and shoulders and helped off stage.

At this point, the reality diverges from the illusion. The crowd is shown a video of a guy in a white space suit and black helmet being covered from head to toe in blue paint, and slammed into this white canvas, leaving a big "body print".

The reality is, as soon as I'm behind stage two girls rip my shoes and coveralls off. Within seconds, I'm changed into a blue jumpsuit, and put into blue shoes. I'm then rushed over to this "magician's assistant" box...essentially a small black box with a hole in the top.

A shower cap is thrown over my head, and I slowly work my head up into the hole - pushing into a giant bowl of jello! My whole head is immersed in the bright pink, jiggly goo, right up to my top lip. The Blue Men are beating a frantic rhythm on their drums; the crowd is being worked into a frenzy. The jello is shaking to every thump, every beat. The box is spun and pushed out onto stage. A silence falls over the crowd. They see a black box with a silver platter. What's underneath??

The cover is removed to show me, smiling, inside a giant bowl of jello. The crowd erupts in a cacophony of laughter. The jello is broken apart, and I let out a triumphant laugh. The blue men free me from my confinement, and to thunderous applause, help me off stage.

As I exit the auditorium, I am greeted by another pair of stage hands who help me out of the blue jump suit, and shoes and back into my own. My exploits have come to an end. Almost.

As the show comes to an end, and we're heading for the doors, I'm stopped by a handful of admiring fans "Was that REALLY you!?". Others just look on, and smile.

All in a hard day's work.